Monday, January, 31st, 2005
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Sorry for not updating my site, I went on a little vacation.
So we went to this hotel which had a sauna, my girlfriend and me
had sex, when we were through, we didnt have a shower or anything, then
we jumped into the hot tub with 5 other people. I feel horrible.
So we were out at a night club, a certain celeb hot spot, so I am in the
bathroom, I enter the stall to go, and I see a 'A' list celeb doing coke.
She offered to pay me money to keep it quiet. Funny. Like i know any
reporters. I didnt even have a camera. Who carries a Camera to a
nightclub. Do I look like the paparazzi Nazi? God. What is up with celebs
these days. I bet she would suck dick for coke.
So after we went drinking with friends on my way home
I desperately needed to pee. I tried to squat but was so drunk I pissed all
over my legs and shoes.
I queef too much, it's embarrassing.
I bleed too much, that is worse.
I recently lost 20 lbs (even though I wasn't overweight to begin with). I
don't know how this happened, I wasn't on any diet, and that includes
bulimia/anorexia.
But I still have to eat 2 Nutty Buddy things a day or else I don't feel
satisfied. But when I eat them, I feel so fat. :(
I like the smell of my wet farts in the shower. sometimes I wish my
toothbush smelled like them. I would never quit brushing my goddamn teeth.
I also love to listen to a my girlfriend queef after I eat her out,
god i love her juicy cunt.
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posted by kelly at 8:19am
Wednesday, January, 26th, 2005
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Penis Pill , Fast Size , Sex Toys , Rant:
I only have a Little Rant. What is up with guys and PENIS PILLS?
or even those penis Extenders? its like people want to fast size their
cock. I am so glad I can just play with my pussy and not worry about
any of that stuff. Even Ron Jeremy is a spokesperson for one of
the penis pills. Like you are going to buy a certain penis pills
just because a pornstar is pimping it out? Oh yes lets fast size
my cock. I even found a thing called fleshlight where you put
your penis inside a soft thing and just bang the fuck out of it.
But this thing suprised the hell out of me.
This device my
friend
showed me. he said it worked. Man if only i was a guy. I guess FAST SIZE
really works. But my Dildo Collection beats anyones, but I guess he is
happy with his FAST
SIZE
End of Rant
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posted by kelly at 6:59am
Monday, January, 24th, 2005
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I really love pictures of myself. I get annoyed when I have to look at
pictures of other people.
The other day I was trying to take a crap in the communal bathroom but it
wasn't coming out right away. There was no one else in the room and I
preferred not to crap with anyone else in there, so it needed to happen
NOW.
I was suddenly hit by a weird idea, stuck my thumb in my vagina, hooked it
around the bump of the poo below, and pushed the thing out. It struck me
as being one of the weirder things I've ever done. But it was highly
effective, and I recommend it, if you really need to go in a hurry.
I've always wanted to break my toe. Then people would feel sorry for me
and I'd get paid time off work.
Al Pacino is such an enjoyable Satan. I would worship this guy. as satan
I tried to touch the pussy of my girlfriend's littler sister when she was
asleep.
I like to put my fingers in my pussy or ass crack and smell them. i find
it oddly relaxing. i have done it since i was little.
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i am bored. wanna email me?
kelly
at
richsnob.com
posted by kelly at 2:54pm
